Ask Jess: Realistic Alternatives to College?

Q: I am thinking about putting off college to follow what is currently my one true passion, and that is my love for a certain person. Would it be unwise to focus on making this work instead of going to college?

A: Thank you for the great question!  Love and higher education are two giant decisions in life.  :-)

While I keep a blog “Life Without College”, I sense that you understand that I am not anti-college in any way; I simply acknowledge that it is not the only path to success. That said, I strongly believe that forgoing college to pursue a love interest – no matter how strong – is rather rash, if college is the way in which one wishes to pursue being able to support a family.  Facts are, if you love someone, you want to set up house with them, and most people want to have kids.  And that is just not possible if you don’t have a way to make money; or, at least, enough money to support a family.

On this blog, as you probably know, I often speak of pursuing your passions in life, which college can often hinder, if misused.  And that is not to discredit love, for it is a passion in life.  Unfortunately, nobody makes a living from being in love.

There is nothing saying a person should not pursue love; however, the need to support oneself, and/or a family, becomes immediately important.  The key is being realistic. Therefore, I must say to you that if you seriously do not want to go to college, then you should plan to take steps to pursue another way of making money.

This may mean working at Chick-fil-a to fund you ability to attend entrepreneur seminars, or something similar.  You might start up an online portfolio and build a name for yourself that way through blogging about something you are interested in.  You could travel around the world farming, get you pilot license or SCUBA certification, or have an apprenticeship under a luthier and learn how to make guitars.

The possibilities for what to do with your life are endless, and that is a wonderful thing!  But they must also be acted upon, and that is what I want to stress to you, and everyone out there.  If one makes the decision to not go to college, one needs to take one’s chosen alternative route very seriously.

Here are a couple great and inspiring resources for doing just that:

- Timothy Ferriss is a one-of-a-kind fellow.  An incredible entrepreneur, he has created ways to ensure that he has enough time and money to pursue whatever his current passion might be (for instance, boxing, tango, backpacking in Central America, etc.)  He has written a book called “The Four-Hour Work Week”, and he also keeps a pretty awesome blog about a lot of things.  Here’s the link to his archive for entrepreneurship-related blog posts:  http://www.fourhourworkweek.com/blog/category/entrepreneurship

- Blake Boles is another really extraordinary guy.  When he was in college, he discovered self-directed learning while reading “Dumbing Us Down” by John Taylor Gatto.  6 years later, he now works full-time with self-directed teens and young adults, running his company Unschool Adventures (http://www.unschooladventures.com) and, most recently, starting up his project “Zero Tuition College”, a fantastic alternative to “normal college” that fosters self-directed higher education: http://www.ztcollege.com

The list above will probably be turned into the “Resources” page, which will surely be added to over time.  Stay tuned!

That Green Grass is Talking – Being Realistic

I very often feel like there is some unspoken unschooler competition to one-up each other in what amazing, epic adventures we all can have in as short amount of time as possible.  I am quite certain I am not the only one who feels this, but I could be wrong.

The thing that every human being has to come to terms with eventually, no matter their background, is that the grass is always greener.  That rings so true, and it hurts.  Imagine being some epic-looking person like a Cirque du Soleil acrobat.  That must be the most amazing job in the world, right?  Well, actually… I can’t exactly speak for them, but I know just from spending half of my life doing dance and theatre that it gets boring doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.  And Cirque du Soleil performances are 5 times a week at least, for a year or more (most shows running now have been running for years, though I am sure that not all the performers stay in the shows their entire run considering things like getting old and whatnot).  They all probably wished they had an exciting office job.

I know I said 3 whole entries ago that I would touch on being realistic “in the next entry”… and by that, I of course meant “the next entry that is not an ‘ask Jess’ entry.”

The problem with the “Must do Epic Things at All Times” mentality is that, while it is good to realize you can do epic things with your life, it is impossible to be doing epic things all the time. Dishes must be washed.  Laundry must be done.  Sanity must be kept up by taking time to relax and read a book, or go out for coffee with friends.

Who is telling you that you must only do epic things all the time anyway??  That grass that looks greener is who.  Yes, it’s talking.  Kind of like Audrey 2.  And, yes, it will eat you alive.

This is a tough, tough lesson to learn; at least, it has been for me.  It comes down to CMAWOT Syndrome: Caring Too Much About What Others Think.  (Pronounced “SEE-ma-what”.  Trust me on this. )  It lives in all of us, to an extent (there is a spectrum, you see.)  It starts about the “middle school” age, regardless whether you are homeschooled or not, and slowly eats up the part of our brains that allow us to think for ourselves.  It’s normally cured only by a painful slap in the face, unless counteracted early by rare personalities.  There has not yet been a test invented to find out who does and doesn’t have this Rare Personality at a young age.

Anyway, enough of that.

It’s true, though.  You’d better believe it.

Jessica’s Not Entirely Fool-Proof Method for Attempting to Get Over CMAWOT Syndrome to Some Extent or Another:

(Remember, I’m not a life coach.  I’m just attempting to put into steps some stuff I’ve had to do to myself recently.  Please berate me with incessant questions on what the heck I mean.)

You need to take some serious time alone, or time talking to one or two really, really good friends whom you know will be honest with you.  (I would have just suggested time alone, but then I remembered that I’m an introvert and I’d better attempt to come up with options for my extraverted readers.)  And really take the time.  Set aside a whole day, or even several days to a week.  Go somewhere you feel completely calm and comfortable, and where you feel you are able to think clearly.  This varies for each person, so I won’t tell you it’s definitely your house, or definitely the public gardens, or definitely across the country in a giant bookstore.  Just pick a place with the comfort of your soul in mind.  It’s pretty much very important.

When you are in this place, with yourself or with your friend (read extraverts: NOT YOUR ENTIRE POSSE), and you have calmed down your mind, begin to slowly think.  That’s right.  Slowly.  Think.  At the same time.  It’s hard.

Think back to when you were younger.  Say, between the ages of 8 and 11.  What did you do with yourself then?  How did you act?  Who were you, back in the day when you didn’t care what others thought?  What would you be doing now if suddenly God gave you magical powers to never ever care what people thought, or how what you’re doing looks?

That’s just the first step, and I do implore you now to ask yourself some questions of your own.  I can’t think of all the questions myself, unfortunately.

Next, start making logistical plans for ALL of the things you want to do, and balance that against realistic means for doing them.  Notice that it is really stupid do do all of those things.  Repent.

Okay, don’t repent.  Just cry a little and have a moment or two of utter humbleness.  It’s alright, you’ll feel better about things soon.

Okay, math time!  The next step is to divide step one (childhood loves and actions) into step two (logistical failure).  Or maybe it’s the other way around…. well, anyway, divide one into the other as you see fit.  The answer will be something like 2, remaining pi.

That is to say, you will have a couple of options to seriously look at, with the comfort of knowing that they are really what you want to do.

Make sense?

I believe I will elaborate more on this in my next/a later entry.  My brain is about run out of steam.  My only hope is that I conveyed myself at least slightly.  Don’t hesitate to let me know your thoughts on my sentiments, and if my advice helps!  (Truth is, y’all may be wayyy ahead of this individual.)

Till next time!

~Jess